I am in deep, self-imposed isolation as that’s what sad moods require from me.

Don’t worry. It’s not about you.

I’m just a little unreachable for awhile.
I’ll send you postcards from the edge & sign my autograph in the sand.

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Coalescense

God save me
But I am missing you
Seems I’ve fallen, irrevocably,
in love with you

Aroused by the preponderance
of everything intellectual, sensual, philosophical

With you
I live
I breathe
I believe

With you
coalescence is more than a rainstorm

With you
truth, love, carnality
in equal measurement

Come to me tonight
and love me to morning’s light

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Quiet Confidence

He leaned in close
taking her hand
whispering about quiet confidence

squeezing his fingers,
nodding, lodging herself solidly
within that space under his left arm
leaning far in,
as close to his heart as possible

Quiet confidence?
Yes, certainly.
She had never been so sure before
Although in the same moment
that he whispered,
she shouted!

Loudly, boldly.
Revealing herself to be
a woman in love

Then, the woman blushing deeply,
as he relaxed in the companionable silence
which had settled over them
following
his whispered vote of confidence

The shouting from the mountaintop
all in her head & only just
on the tip of her tongue

Quiet confidence, yes
But her heart beating loudly
as he pulled her further into that space
where companionable silence
creates a lovely symphony
lovers in a moment of perfect harmony

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Happy Birthday Gorgeous!

Happy Birthday Gorgeous!
A quick note, royal blue marking pen
left just where she sits for morning coffee
 
Marking pens, an affectionate sentiment
a gift, carefully considered, not yet wrapped
Candles, delicate paper umbrellas
opening acts for celebrating my good luck
at being able to claim her as my sister
 
It’s not enough
Nothing can ever be enough
to thank her for the joy she has lent
every day of every year of my life
 
Her paintings fill me with awe
Her recall of Woody Allen one-liners
makes my belly hurt, makes my eyes laugh
She connects the dots, calmly, with deep kindness
firmly believing I am magnificent
even when I’m not
 
The truth is
I can never imagine a life without her
So on this day I dash off a quick note
Drawing little hearts on the paper
to tell the story of my good luck
& to say how much I love her
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Quiet Confidence

He leaned in close
taking her hand
whispering about quiet confidence

squeezing his fingers,
nodding, lodging herself solidly
within that space under his left arm
leaning far in, as close to his heart as possible

Quiet confidence?
Yes, certainly
She had never been so sure before
Although in the same moment that he whispered
She shouted loudly, boldly
Revealing herself to be a woman falling in love

Then, the woman blushing deeply
as he relaxed in the companionable silence
which had settled over them
following his whispered vote of confidence

The shouting from the mountaintop
all in her head & only just
on the tip of her tongue

Quiet confidence, yes
But her heart beating loudly
as he pulled her further into that space
where companionable silence
creates a lovely symphony
& lovers experience a moment of perfect harmony

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Boise

Philosophically 
I know
I should be happy
Just knowing you are orbiting 
out there 405 miles or so
from where I love you

In a generous mood
I know
I should be altruistic
Happy to share your awesomeness
with the world at large 405 miles or so
from where I miss you

But in a perfect world
I know
I would be so grateful
If I could shrink the distance 405 miles or less
to where I could kiss you

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The Princess Escapes

Chapter I

The princess had been lonely a long time. He had cast a rather potent spell all those years ago that kept her captive within those cold tower walls. She could see out the window, see the country, the changing weather and the world swirling around, but could feel none of the joy. She was so sad, so completely sad, just the way the evil prince intended her to be.

Certainly she had been visited in that tower by a steady parade of well-wishers, doctors, court jesters, friends, and family who ministered to her pain, seeking to draw her out, hoping to gain a steady foothold against the sadness. Sometimes the darkness would temporarily withdraw and for brief periods of time the princess was visited by feelings of contentment, happiness, and sometimes even a hint of joy. These visits were always over too soon, and the evil spell quickly reclaimed her, ferreting out all traces of calm, or creativity, and certainly ending any sense of a connection with others. Our princess locked in the dark tower, surrounded by happy sights but the happy places as distant as if she were living on the moon.

One evening as the princess was looking out the tower window and thinking again of throwing herself through the opening to crash far below on the rough stones lining her prison, she had an epiphany. She thought it might be possible to simply begin walking down the winding steps leading out of the tower, carrying herself to a safe and better place. She had an idea that the spell could be broken only by a habit of making her own happiness, day in and day out over a very long period of time. She knew that she had become habituated to her own sadness and that she was terribly broken. The princess realized that no one could fix her brokenness, no one could save her from the tower, no one could save her except for herself.

She made a plan that upon waking the next morning she would smile. It was a beginning. After smiling she planned to be happy to see the child that lived in a room just outside the tower & thought it would be pleasant to make a lunch for this child to take to school. After smiling and being happy to see the child and making the lunch, the princess thought it might be lovely to chose something pretty to wear for her first day of happiness.

On the morning of the first day of happiness our princess awoke and remembered the plan. She smiled, tentatively. Then rising up from her slumber she greeted the child with a rather more convincing smile. Lunch made, beautiful clothes selected, she steeled herself to meet the enemy, any enemy that is, that might appear in the form of a disappointment or cold weather or well, a disappointment taking on any form at all. Then, leaving the tower expecting the evil spell to cause buckets of rain to fall, to soak her spirit and her beautiful costume, the princess was surprised to find the sun shining, the daylight bright – casting a shimmering sparkle over the lake and over the township. The first day of happiness was well underway. She had a sense that she would need days and days of happiness to undo the spell and to free her, finally from the darkness of the tower.

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Lost & Found

This hole in my heart?
a small leak
Not life threatening
yet ever-present
a lump in my throat
a sense that something vital is missing
That I’ve lost something
That I’ll never be found

The tear developed slowly
starting in those moments
immediately after the “I do’s”
The trials, the deception
ending though,
long before meeting you

So you see
You are not the cause
Of this hole in my heart
This tiny, but steady wellspring of sadness

In fact, when I’m with you
My heart feels whole
No leaks
No fear
No lump

You make me laugh
& smile
& hope
& we do funny yoga poses

When I’m with you
or when I know you’re thinking of me
my heart feels whole

I just wanted you to know
and my heart wanted to tell you

thanks

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Love Without Laundry

The man asked, “What is it that you want?”
She boldly answered, “love.”
He shrugged, looked away & replied, “I won’t marry again. I like living on my own.”
She understood his confusion regarding love & domestic duty so she gently, patiently explained,  “I’m looking for love, not a roommate.”

And so it was that this woman thought it to be both a lovely & a remarkably reasonable idea to fall in love without presumption of sharing laundry tasks.

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Mollusks & Sea Walls, a Love Story (sort of)

Audacious
impudent
impertinent
throwing herself
at this salty wall
forming a fierce attachment
without so much as an invitation

The sea wall
might have been flattered
such a pretty, charming mollusk
but he barely knew her
he wasn’t in the market
with more pressing concerns
a shoreline to protect
20,000 Leagues to manage
sand dollars
not floating a water logged economy

Puzzled
by this silly
starry fish eyed mollusk
with love on her mind
planting herself at port
quintessentially hopeful & foolish
all in the same moment
& all in equal parts

seeking his attention
transparent as shallow water
uncomplicated, unsophisticated
forming a vacuum sealed bond
(because that’s what mollusks do)

what mollusks fear
is being an imposition

what sea walls fear
is being preoccupied
at that moment
when an uncomplicated,
unsophisticated
transparent as shallow water
yet true blue as a child’s depiction of the pacific,

sea mollusk

comes to kiss his face
& to offer a sweet, secure,
vacuum sealed,
sand dollars in the bank,
sort of love

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