Friends share secrets
I am your secret.
I had thought we were lovers, best friends
Turns out you’re just a guy collecting secrets
So on this Memorial Day let us take leave
of pretense, of the notion of public versus private monikers
Let’s let that cat slip straight out of the bag
I am not a secret
Or to be accurate, I am now your ex-secret
Please leave the key to my heart on the counter
Then leave me as gently and as tenderly
as I had imagined your love for me.
the scale is broken
stuck at 1.5
sometimes at 2.75
no matter the level of levity
good news, good friends
the lever swings low
3’s, 4’s, 5’s gone
like a dream left behind
the girl is broken
stuck at 1.5
sometimes at 2.75
no matter levity, good news, good friends
she swings low
can’t catch a 3, let alone a 5
feels her life like a dream left behind
Snowflake love.
My world,
because of you,
a whiteout of exquisite beauty.
The truth is
I’ve been standing here
on your doorstep forever
Or at least a year
Since last Halloween in fact
I ring the doorbell
peek through the curtains
adjust the straps on my costume
wishing I really was Wonder Woman
And sometimes
Sometimes you visit
say you love me
say you’re lucky to have me around
give me treats, make me laugh with funny tricks
But the truth is
You never invite me
never invite me in
And now I wish I’d dressed as The Tin Man
circa pre-recipient of a heart
Because even Wonder Woman can’t save it
Can’t fix a broken heart
Diving into deep blue sky
on an October morning
Splashing gloriously into fall
Leaping without hesitation
She ascribes to a variation of
Archimedes’ Principle.
Bouyancy in this life
floats better when you are loved.
Leaving the theater
soft rain falling
marine air wafting, gliding.
& front row seating
to breathe in a little summer love
The best part
of my best friend’s leave
is the coming home
laughter
at the start of day
stories & love
ending the day
Life, lovely even in his absence,
Coalesces perfectly
the moment of re-entry into the seattlesphere
an extra-wide smile
an extra sense of happiness
and a convert’s fervent belief that
all is right, all is well
The best part
of my best friend’s absence
is that while he was gone
he was never missing
as he was never absent,
not even for a moment,
from that crazy, magical
schmoopy space called the heartosphere
Super slow motion
as a feather drifting
as molasses spreading
And quiet
as a pin drop
as the libraries of our childhood
Imperceptible
no defining moment
only that he loved her now
as it seemed he always had
Guy in the office two doors down walked into the hall and asked, “Why is it so dark?”
I considered a reply to mention the collective sadness over mudslides, lost airplanes, and exploding NYC buildings. Perhaps I should have backdated the darkness to Ferdinand’s decision to celebrate his wedding anniversary by touring through Sarajevo instead of buying flowers for his wife. My thoughts ran to picking the wrong basketball team, the fact that it is Tuesday and not Friday, and also, the disappointment of starting work without having had a proper cup of coffee.
But in the end all I could say was, “Because you are wearing sunglasses.”
The man removed his glasses, smiled, and faith was restored.
You’ve abandoned me.
Not in the ‘left without a word’
sort of abandonment
& not the sayonara auf wiedersehen
walking out the back door
lost in translation, sort of abandonment
This abandonment has
nothing to do with your intent
I know you love me
I trust that wherever you are in the world
Remembering me, you do this with great fondness
Yet, I am clearly, desolately,
so essentially abandoned.
Yes, my postcards show the fun.
Fun breakfast conversation
Fantastic dresses sprung from imagination
A lovely walk, a lovely talk in a park of discovery
Fun, but not funny.
No, to be clear, this abandonment?
It’s a sort of Siamese twin splice
It’s separation anxiety manifest
It’s a falling head first, at great velocity into the great void
I love my life
But truth be told
I love it more when you are in it
Please come home soon
and unabandon me
(Because I love you, because I miss you, & because you put the ‘funny’ in my postcards).
 | Nancy Vilhauer on 28 Years |
| Nancy Vilhauer on Missing |
| Nancy Vilhauer on !!!❤️💋❌⭕️!!! |
 | Jill Burnette on Stepping out of Darkness |
 | David Amdal on With Great Abandon, Anticipati… |
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