With Great Abandon, Anticipating the Moment of Becoming Unabandoned

You’ve abandoned me.

Not in the ‘left without a word’
sort of abandonment
& not the sayonara auf wiedersehen
walking out the back door
lost in translation, sort of abandonment

This abandonment has
nothing to do with your intent

I know you love me
I trust that wherever you are in the world
Remembering me, you do this with great fondness

Yet, I am clearly, desolately,
so essentially abandoned.

Yes, my postcards show the fun.

Fun breakfast conversation
Fantastic dresses sprung from imagination
A lovely walk, a lovely talk in a park of discovery

Fun, but not funny.

No, to be clear, this abandonment?
It’s a sort of Siamese twin splice
It’s separation anxiety manifest
It’s a falling head first, at great velocity into the great void

I love my life
But truth be told
I love it more when you are in it

Please come home soon
and unabandon me

(Because I love you, because I miss you, & because you put the ‘funny’ in my postcards).

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Eggs

A multitude of eggs
requiring a multitude of baskets

that’s how you do it she whispered
that’s how you heal a broken heart
before it breaks

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A New Chapeau

Her daydreams tended toward all things Italian, Cinque Terre, the Almafi Coastline, Prada. He understood, loved her, & thought to top off daydreams & the dreamer with a beautiful new chapeau.

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Happy, But Missing a Glass Slipper

A friend mentioned that he spent New Year’s Eve at a bar on the east side and he asked if I had gone out. I gave the following description of my evening,

“I put on that beautiful red party dress that I made, stayed home, drank champagne, celebrated quietly my son’s 24th birthday, then as the year slipped away I was visited by a handsome Spanish man who danced with me, kissing me once at the stroke of midnight. Was like a dream.”

Looking for the other glass slipper now.

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I am in deep, self-imposed isolation as that’s what sad moods require from me.

Don’t worry. It’s not about you.

I’m just a little unreachable for awhile.
I’ll send you postcards from the edge & sign my autograph in the sand.

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Coalescense

God save me
But I am missing you
Seems I’ve fallen, irrevocably,
in love with you

Aroused by the preponderance
of everything intellectual, sensual, philosophical

With you
I live
I breathe
I believe

With you
coalescence is more than a rainstorm

With you
truth, love, carnality
in equal measurement

Come to me tonight
and love me to morning’s light

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Quiet Confidence

He leaned in close
taking her hand
whispering about quiet confidence

squeezing his fingers,
nodding, lodging herself solidly
within that space under his left arm
leaning far in,
as close to his heart as possible

Quiet confidence?
Yes, certainly.
She had never been so sure before
Although in the same moment
that he whispered,
she shouted!

Loudly, boldly.
Revealing herself to be
a woman in love

Then, the woman blushing deeply,
as he relaxed in the companionable silence
which had settled over them
following
his whispered vote of confidence

The shouting from the mountaintop
all in her head & only just
on the tip of her tongue

Quiet confidence, yes
But her heart beating loudly
as he pulled her further into that space
where companionable silence
creates a lovely symphony
lovers in a moment of perfect harmony

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Happy Birthday Gorgeous!

Happy Birthday Gorgeous!
A quick note, royal blue marking pen
left just where she sits for morning coffee
 
Marking pens, an affectionate sentiment
a gift, carefully considered, not yet wrapped
Candles, delicate paper umbrellas
opening acts for celebrating my good luck
at being able to claim her as my sister
 
It’s not enough
Nothing can ever be enough
to thank her for the joy she has lent
every day of every year of my life
 
Her paintings fill me with awe
Her recall of Woody Allen one-liners
makes my belly hurt, makes my eyes laugh
She connects the dots, calmly, with deep kindness
firmly believing I am magnificent
even when I’m not
 
The truth is
I can never imagine a life without her
So on this day I dash off a quick note
Drawing little hearts on the paper
to tell the story of my good luck
& to say how much I love her
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Quiet Confidence

He leaned in close
taking her hand
whispering about quiet confidence

squeezing his fingers,
nodding, lodging herself solidly
within that space under his left arm
leaning far in, as close to his heart as possible

Quiet confidence?
Yes, certainly
She had never been so sure before
Although in the same moment that he whispered
She shouted loudly, boldly
Revealing herself to be a woman falling in love

Then, the woman blushing deeply
as he relaxed in the companionable silence
which had settled over them
following his whispered vote of confidence

The shouting from the mountaintop
all in her head & only just
on the tip of her tongue

Quiet confidence, yes
But her heart beating loudly
as he pulled her further into that space
where companionable silence
creates a lovely symphony
& lovers experience a moment of perfect harmony

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Boise

Philosophically 
I know
I should be happy
Just knowing you are orbiting 
out there 405 miles or so
from where I love you

In a generous mood
I know
I should be altruistic
Happy to share your awesomeness
with the world at large 405 miles or so
from where I miss you

But in a perfect world
I know
I would be so grateful
If I could shrink the distance 405 miles or less
to where I could kiss you

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