I am on my way
& will leave you now
having walked together
such a short distance
it seems too soon
to say goodbye
I have loved you
with my whole heart
indeed
my whole heart
not quite whole
in kissing you again
one last time
pins & needles
hanging on by a thread
trying to avoid embroidering the storyline
still, untangling a heart
tied up in knots
following the thread
concentrating on smoothing the fabric
hoping a stitch in time saves more
than just the number 9
Radio silence in the Pacific
the historical record is soul crushing
lost signal + the largest ocean in the world
separating lovers, separating friends
I cannot begin to imagine
the depth of terror or despair
endured in those hours
the not knowing, fearing love lost
the lines of communication
made utterly, frighteningly quiet
an object lesson
to use your outdoor voice
both in times of great joy & times
when uncertainty threatens to bury your soul
oceans & radio silence
sometimes create a void
into which love can falter
the world does not deserve
cannot tolerate, more loss of love
turn on your radio
crank up the sound
shout from the rooftops
hire a sky writer
tell the world you love her
& watch as the ocean falls away
Harvey
An imaginary rabbit
of epic proportions
he was the best friend
an understanding confidante
whose love was constant,
unquestionable, lock safe
Inconveniently
Harvey was dismissed
denied, written off as an apparition
by family & by friends
with a general consensus
that this love was, in fact
a fantastic mirage
borne from desire
shaped from an unruly mind
a dream without realistic shape or form
You
do not resemble
an oversized rabbit
and yet, my family, my friends
consider you to be a beautiful chimera
one without essence
anchored to my imagination
a flight of romantic fancy
You, who have taken up the position
of best friend, trusted confidante
love of a lifetime
Yet
when I am away from you
when days pass without connection
I begin to doubt my sanity
the fabric tears, lyrics are confused
the storyline shifts
and I hold your love for me
as suspect, as a manifestation
of a lifelong search
for my own personal Harvey
for a love larger than life
this love I share with you
seemingly ethereal
in the days that I am missing you
Let us agree
that talking is over-rated
drafting & redrafting
the terms of our alliance
has been tedious
has been a poor substitution
for letting loose
flying by the seat of our pants
swinging ’round corners to kiss
emitting unseemly belly laughs
abandoning monogamous &
multitudinous rules
making love up as we please
because you please me
you can hang the moon
but we’ve talked too much
we’ve drawn & redrawn the lines
so now is the time to do it
just shut up & kiss me
She was terrified
he spoke quietly
holding her hand
noting a small inscription
fading black ink
on the inside of her wrist
just the two letters,
sd
a reminder that fears
can be vanquished
requiring patience
requiring heartfelt desire
to pass through or
to travel beyond
this personal nightmare
still, he felt her trembling
tears welling, biting her lower lip
trying & failing to achieve
a brave heart
for she certainly believed
the deep end was too vast
dipped a toe in clear, still, blue water
feeling herself already, drowning
resolve dissipating
despite her whole-hearted desire
to love & to be loved by him
High fidelity
My love
Without reservation
With perfect orchestration
This whole hearted music
Not divided, but true
The dance, the lovers,
choreographed for two
And yes, for a lifetime
my love for you
I know
without a trace of doubt
that I have occupied
a large part of precious real estate
in your heart
And
the truth is
I have loved you
with my whole heart
the truth is I love you still
Yet we loved on the periphery
hidden from the world
a secret place
where lovers laugh, kiss,
then stealthily return home
Two realities never colliding
because love will end
next week, next year
& endings are hard
for the children, for others too
Untenable.
The joy we shared
was never meant to be contained
too big to be compartmentalized
too pure to be kept hidden away
I love you
Miss you with soul crushing intensity
But love on the periphery
has made a preemptive strike
with next week/next year
arriving already as an unwelcome guest
Navigating through
the spring evening
two kindred spirits
gentle, passionate friends
affection running deep
the air surrounding
electrified, joyful, complete
Then, a wrong turn
unfamiliar territory
a dead end
unexpected loss of oxygen
lovers finding it
hard to breathe
as hearts were breaking
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