3 years 181 days
A long time missing you

At Golden Gardens
The wind whips
surges, stretching the boat sails
windsurfers flying, hurling northward
exuberant, filled with unrestrained joy

The water is cold in the sound
too cold
My feet, my ankles, my whole being
would object violently
before wading out far enough
deep enough

I am a coward
I can’t leave, yet I can’t stay

1277 days since you left
and I am the ghost, hidden
Unanchored
Unmoored
rising each day reluctantly
adding another day to unmistakeable
unyielding, unimaginable heartbreak

41 months
Today I cannot stand without tears
and today will drown
in the saltwater of these tears
not the saltwater of Puget Sound

Life isn’t done with me
I am aimless, lost
Yet I remain and tomorrow I will rise
to the challenge of day 1278
and wonder at how the wind
surges the sails with such purpose

I will hope
that if I can’t find you, that
I will catch my breath
Maybe even catch the wind